The King is Dead!!!!

9 07 2010

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Hey King James what’s it like playing in WADE county?

Is it me or did last night’s ESPN cluster-F of a show really only show just how sappy and useless ESPN has become?  Listening to Michael Wilbon (a well-respected and knowledgeable man) talk glowingly of one of the dumbest moves in NBA history.  How about JA Adande (another well-respected writer) looking like the MORON with Tim Legler sitting right next to him  (don’t get me started on that f-ing spare!!).   And we haven’t even mentioned Stuart and his eye!!

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“LOOK AT ME STU”!!!

J/K Stu – I don’t mind you so much because you make me laugh.  O and the best is saved for last – JIM GRAY!!  WTF JIM?  You have Lebron ready to answer your questions and you run him through the “Hey lets recap the same shit we’ve known for two freaking years!!”.  The only important info gained was to hear LBJ say he dreamed about Miami and woke up wanting South Beach = “I’m a big fat liar”.  So I’m guessing that “dinner meeting” the trio had before free agency began was just a nice steak din din.

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Chris Bosh played by Chevy Chase, LBJ played by Steve Martin and DWade played by Martin Short.   Do you not remember the premise of the movie – these guys were all IDIOTS – o wait that does fit this joke.

“Gadi why are you so mad that LeBron went to Miami?”.  Well person in my head – cuz it was the WORST MOVE.

Lebron James had two choices – stay home and be loved by your Ohio fans or jet for New York City (either go directly to Madison Square Garden with the Knicks or go to New Jersey for two years and then end up in BROOKLYN).  Forget Chi-town – why would you go there only to realize you have to win 7 titles to even be noticed.

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You aint replacing this fella – Sorry LBJ – if Kobe can’t do it with all those rings, your ring-less ass aint doing it!!

So why then is NYC or CLE a better choice then Dwade, Bosh and Miami?  Cleveland would have been the simplest and easy choice (minus the whole Delonte West/Mrs. James thingy).  You have a moron owner (Dan Gilbert – by the way F him for thinking his tirade will make Cleveland fans like him) who can pay you the most money and keep you from having an entire state hate you.  The fact that ESPN had footage of a burning James jersey shows how quick the response from OHIO was – IT AINT HAPPY KING!  I’ve never personally thought he’d stay in Cleveland, but I figured he’d want better then to be Wade’s sidekick.

The case for NYC.  Its simple resurrecting the Knicks would have been the greatest move in NBA history.  You’d reinvigorate a “celebrity” fan base that rivals LA (Seinfeld, Spike and Bob DeNiro vs Jack, Chris Rock and Nookie Girls).  You’d have AMAR’E as your C and not the SOFT Chris Bosh (by the way CB – you’re a moron too – you are the third wheel on this sinking ship – YOU DON’T HAVE WHEELS ON SHIPS CB!!!).  Amar’e gives you the younger low-post presence you yelled at Danny Ferry to get you only three seasons ago.  You’d also have seen the Knicks re-sign David Lee a legit PF.  God imagine that front line with LBJ, Dlee and AMAR’E!!!  AND not to mention next season Tony Parker, Chris Paul and Carmelo all are FREE AGENTS.  So if you didn’t win a title this year LBJ – you’d have a Knick organization go get your POINT GUARD or MELO.  WTF?  That is a hell of a line-up – CP, LBJ, David, and Amar’e (you cares who plays the 2-guard – Toney is fine – he’s a good defender).  You’d be in an exciting up-tempo offense which is the key to BEATING THE MAGIC and the Old CELTICS!!  Gosh LBJ are you blind.  You’re stuck with MARIO CHALMERS as your PG for the next 3 seasons, and because you three are all MAXED out – you couldn’t bring in the retired jock-strap of John Stockton to run your point.  Jason Kidd will retire before getting paid in peanuts in Miami.

The EAST has doubled in greatness.  Last year Cleveland, Orlando, Boston and Atlanta were the only Eastern teams that mattered.  NOW you’ve got Orlando (everyone back!!), Boston (still the deepest team in the East and DOC is back), Atlanta (Joe, Josh, and Bibby = on the cusp), Miami (CB and Dwade is a great combo), Chicago (DROSE, Joakim, and Boozer = sick), NYC (Amar’e, A.Randolph, and the lethal offense of Coach MikeD), New Jersey (Devin, Brook, and Derrick Favors) are going to surprise!!, and Milwaukee (John Salmons is legit and Bogut will be healthy – best C in the East?).  The East took Boozer, Amar’e, and young sensation Randolph from the West.  The “better” league will be the EAST over the next few seasons, but like usual the damn LAKERS are the only real winners in all this.

The real reason i’m angry that LBJ isn’t a Knick or a Net is that he’s now made me dislike him more then this f-ing guy.

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Rape anyone lately?

Now Kobe only has to worry about an aging Spurs (sad face), Cuban and the Mavs (C is bringing SHAQ TO TOWN – hopefully at this point), and a talented Oklahoma City team that is on the verge of stardom.  Gosh LBJ – why o why did you not realize you had so much more to gain from NEW YORK…or Dallas…or LA.

Kobe will still sell more jerseys in Europe and China since you aren’t in New York and instead you’ll be the other guy in Miami.  Lets not forget that Dwade OWNS THE TOWN.  He brought them a title (granted Shaq and the epic failure of Dallas helped – o and a ref that gave Dwayne a million free throws).  LBJ will realize that DWade demands the ball just as much as you.  AND if another person brings up how great the three of them looked in a USA jersey.  LETS NOT FORGET THAT YOUR PG on that team wasn’t MARIO CHALMERS but was the best PG of the last two decades (maybe of our generation).

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LBJ did you not realize that Kidd was the key?  I know you did cuz you’ve been asking for Jk in Cleveland since he wanted out of New Jersey!!  It would have made more sense for you to take Mark Cuban’s offer and come to Dallas.  At least then you’d leave Cleveland with a nice present of Roddy B and some movable parts like Erik Dampier and JET.  BUT NO instead you going to go bicker with Dwade over who should shoot first and then wonder why Chris Bosh is not a low-post presence (Brendan Haywood is looking pretty good right now!).  Gosh Dallas made more sense – how stupid are you LBJ.

I tuned in last night hoping to see a fun and energetic LBJ TALK to us about how he had to be the Greatest and to do that he’d be moving to NYC.  I expected a Muhammad Ali type presence to shake the NBA up.

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This was a young black man that said what he meant and BACKED IT UP.  LBJ you did NOTHING in Cleveland and got on TV talking about how you gave 7 years of your life and brought Cleveland the greatest success ever – NO SIR YOU DID NOT.  You couldn’t even last 9 years like the real KING OF FUCKING CLEVELAND.

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You see that HOF – that stands for HALL OF FAME and that gentleman is JIM BROWN.  You know the old guy that talked to you a few times.

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Look LBJ – staying in Cleveland would have been ok.  NYC would be ideal.  Dallas makes sense.  HELL THE LA CLIPPERS MAKE SENSE (at least you’d have a Blake Griffin and a legit PG in Baron Davis – though the bearded wonder may not have passed you the rock often enough, but its better then DWADE!!).

I guess I’m just upset that the KID was on the verge of growing up and instead he acted like Charlie Brown and is playing kid games with his “buddies”.

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Sadly LBJ – IF (and When) you CAN’T win the TITLE (cuz the Lakers, Magic, Celtics, Spurs, Mavs, and Nuggets are still better overall then you and your buddies in Miami) don’t get all sad and ask us to remember how we once loved you.  INSTEAD I hope you realize that you’re now just CHARLES BARKLEY or PATRICK EWING.  But instead of Jordan taking your glory it’ll be the damn rapist we talked about earlier.   LeBron why didn’t you listen to your pal Warren Buffet.

“An investor should act as though he had a lifetime decision card with just twenty punches on it.”

King James the Spurs took four of those punches out when they swept your ass.  The Magic and Celtics have taken four punches over the last two seasons and so LBJ you just don’t have very much time left.  MAKE THAT ONE CHANCE LEFT- 2011 is your only chance. Because Free Agency 2011 will see the KNICKS sign TONY PARKER or CHRIS PAUL.  And Carmelo Anthony (the real winner in the 2010 Free Agency debacle) will either go to the Nets or NYC (George Karl might be done this year and he is for sure retired by 2011 – when Melo’s contract is up.)

LBJ you do realize that there is a kid in Oklahoma City that will surpass you as the most liked NBA star.  Welcome world to the KEVIN DURANT DECADE.  As a die-hard Spurs fan I am happy to say the moment Tim Duncan Retires i’m throwing my chips with a this Longhorn/Thunder kid.

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Hey by the way Durant will slowly realize that he has very own billionaire buddy right there in Oklahoma.  Forget Buffet and LBJ in NEW YORK – LeBron ruined that – now its Durant and Pickens in Oklahoma.

Burnt Orange Tie – Nice touch T-Boone.

THE KING IS DEAD.

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One response

31 10 2010
Egg Donor :

just the mere look of Chris Rock would give you laughs already _

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